"LOVE?"

My apologies...psych...for accurately representing by the words I share with you, the actual thoughts and feelings that you created in me for yourself.  It must be so very difficult and burdensome to receive honest descriptions that theoretically would produce positive feelings within you toward yourself.  Perhaps I have shared too high of volume, and should cut back.  I surely then was blind, and didn't see your apparent more than most real humility, nor did I sense it so I guess my 6 was off.  As you should know, but because I assumed you do, therefore I do not know that you do---that I don't expect any reciprocation of similar toned comments said to me by you.  Not receiving them by you does not inflict any pain of heart, mind, and soul...because I choose to believe, therefore know for a fact that "he/she who speaks least, loves the most" in your case.  But, please understand that in my case, "he who speaks most, loves absolutely the most of any and all."  Perhaps, you are seeking a "man" that strikes more of a balance and happy medium of machoness and conceitedness and almost "real"ness.  I understand that my ways are drowning and all encompassing ways, and total enveloping ways, and failure-proof with out a fail ways, more than the number of days of days in a week ways.  You switched on my automatic, and you are the sun that solars it drive, therefore shut off it will not, but steady as it goes will it always and forever flow.  Deflect and reject like a frantic lackluster love lunatic, and you will be slapped with the "what the fuck you doin" stick, but if you still want to, then freely you are always to do what you'll want to do.  I seek not to advance an agenda of developing a genre type relationship...with me it shall never be, for I am human you see.  It may take my showering of you with my energy to give you just a slight average boot up you need for the day or the week...when for me to do the same only takes one stupid short little click!  It's termed "acknowledgement".  I forget that I live when said acknowledgment from you is not present, does not or has ceased to exist.  It is too extremely painful for me to even be the slightest wee bit of pissed.  I am not "Codependent" upon you, tie knots of any expectation around you, or smash a crown of queen's thorn upon you...it is not the source of agony.  I'll get now to the point...from us I yearn to make so fuckin many, but I already know and truly accept that shall never will be.  I lay it on ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL way too thick, never too thin, and perfectly hitting every spot within.  all your so called past shared passion is utterly shunned and smashioned...I am a demeanor...rendering all the defined elements of what you call "true love" absolutely meaningless...and realizing, even though many guys you have been intimate with, have never truly been penetrated in soul and body, nor even close to being barely breached...realizing that everything they expressed and all their actions performed...didn't even begin to wet your lips or even caused a inkling in your mind to think that you were thinking about beginning to be tantalized by the small mind they all call dick.  DAMN!  flood gates flinging open now, while the uprights are being so gently layed down...and your smile instantly turned to a frown because I stopped....  Smile, I wood love to extract your inner pain, in the most intensified passive to a perfected totally in and out of control way, each second of every nonexistant day...then wake up the following existing day to saunter out of and away, from my lonely bed into the street down to the coffee cafe, and walk in the doors and for the first time cast my eyes and gaze upon the universes definition of a perfectly beautiful face, and instantly blurt out..."will you spend the whole fuckin day with me today!"  I am and will always be, not waiting for you, but always portraying for you in every way, everyday...and in my ways, always, my wonderment amazing-full and only honest perfectly positive rayful praise till the end of our days...and beyond, way way way way way and way and never enough ways beyond the last eternal day.  for i shall always with you want to play, swayly in the clay, creating babies to be born in may, for we just may, or not, tie the knot without a knot because both of us will feel that we've come to naught, if with each of our individual lives have not bought, the most tenderized and healful prize of life our entire lives we have brutalizingly, tantalizingly sought.  So, be careful on sending me any communications of blatant displays of guilt free feelings, I can't be bought, or so I thought, but me you already have, confirmed what I have felt, just by having of me a little tiny so minuscule thought.  I need no writing, rather just a small assurance, that I am etched upon your memory inscribing; don't need to be passionately... just maybe so intently, always, in a separate brain that I created in you...only for me.  In this be permanently irreversibly, without clause, connected to me which would cause me to feel the exhilaration, times infinity, of when I truly saw the real santa clause...will you be my MRS but remain faithfully only yours, Ms, so yourself you will never miss and always retain  perfect remembrance, so that you can be always yourself, wholly and complete to give healthy entire soul and body to me, for me, to me, always for me only when you are thinking about me, or physically with me, and every time within, if and only when you please.  Won't you be my neighbor, because I love them more so than the way I perfectly love me, in ways that you cannot nor never could ever conceive, because those  insurmountable highest and most fullexplosivefulling ways were actually created by me, hence i call them MY WAYS and they are truly the HIGHEST WAYS because the energy that fueled their creation was exclusively your Lightrays and Lightwaves, please continue with your Biways, cuz they exponentially intensify my crazy side, your left and right, front first than back side, flip your top then the down side, but it's an impossibility that when in your presence and just imagining you that your permanent gift attached to me that slides in you, making one from two...wood or could ever downsize...but on your instant demand will gradually or instantly upsize to the perfectly prized size, though it may not be the longest or widest of some of your past guys, but rest assured and set in stone you'll yearn that I will be the last one of the past guys, the only one you'll want all others to act and live and love of your present and past guys, and if you could only choose one I would be your only future guy, and about this time you will start to exhale a slight sigh, yearning for me to rest up in between your sweating thighs, discarding all traces of want of every other guy, knowing that to your love I will give everything, all of me, and any other thing on top of that to buy.  Oh my, oh my, oh my, you are my God my everything, my all, yet I shall never be satisfied or full up on your flesh and soul, so that you will always in the craziest ways, be filled up till just before the brim of your dainty cup, somehow, that's obviously mehow, always intimately quenched, after which every time it makes you wonder how, because all that just happened with your eyes closed and my pinky finger gently pressed upon your thirdeyed-forehead.  "Hey you...helloooo" you awaken out of your deepest day dream and peer into the distance and see me clothed with your eyes, but stripped naked in your mind, that is the only way, that you'd see my perfectly toned to your desire physique, but you already know that if I'm not even present in body, soul, or in your mind....can cause you to endlessly peak, and always you'll be screaming to hit the fast forward button at the same time as rewind and pause forever...and that my perfect precious, thou you are not mine, with a bottle of your choice of wine---you'll beg to stay in that bind, welded without a seam, endlessly, seemingly no beginning, demanding there never be an ending but hoping then your soul concluding that if there is an ending it would be your most holy and beyond pure sets of lips pressed upon mine and clamped allmightilytighfull upon your truly, only permanent dipstick, that turned so red and unbaringly hot, but not by your lipstick, but by minus the stick,  they got so chapped cuz your body got hyperdehydrated after which it was rehydrated again and again and again and again by what your mind is telling me to do to you without fail every goddamn fucking time...that's a true fuck ya!  I guess it was nice to meet you....i guess i saw everything i wanted....the truth...that's why i go elsewhere...for mine is not found in you.